Rebuilding Parent–Child Relationships in High-Conflict Families: Reunification Therapy with Dr. Charles W. Washam in Northern Kentucky

When a child withdraws from or refuses contact with a parent in the midst of a high-conflict separation, divorce, or custody dispute everyone involved feels a mix of fear, confusion, and urgency. Parents are worried about losing a relationship with their child. Attorneys, guardians ad litem, and judges must protect the child while also honoring the court’s orders and the rights of both parents. This article explains what reunification therapy is, how it works in court-involved families in Northern Kentucky, and how Dr. Charles W. Washam approaches this complex, highly specialized work.

Who This Article Is For

This article is written for two main groups of readers:

●      Parents in Northern Kentucky whose child is resisting or refusing contact with a parent and who may now be facing a court order for reunification therapy.

●      Family-law attorneys, guardians ad litem, evaluators, and judges in Kenton, Boone, and Campbell Counties who need a research-informed explanation of what reunification therapy is and how a reunification therapist such as Dr. Washam works within the family court system.

Reunification Therapy at a Glance

●      Reunification therapy is a specialized, goal-oriented, structured intervention designed to repair a damaged or disrupted relationship between a parent and child in the context of separation, divorce, or high-conflict custody litigation.

●      It draws on principles from attachment theory, child development, and trauma-informed care, and is distinct from traditional family therapy or co-parenting counseling.

●      It is most often ordered in cases where a child is resisting or refusing contact with a parent, there are allegations of parental alienation, or there is ongoing high-conflict litigation.

●      The core purpose is to help the child restore a more balanced and secure relationship with both parents when it is safe to do so. Reunification therapy does not decide custody. Custody and parenting time decisions remain the court’s role.

What Is Reunification Therapy

Drawing on Dr. Stanley Clawar’s most recent work, “Parent-Child Reunification: A Guide to Legal and Forensic Strategies” (2020), reunification is best understood as a structured, legally informed process that uses specific strategies, techniques, and methods to repair, reconnect, rebuild, heal, normalize, and stabilize a parent-child relationship that has become distant, absent, or alienated.

When Do Courts in Kentucky and Northern Kentucky Order Reunification Therapy

Requests for reunification therapy typically arise when:

●      A child resists or refuses contact with a parent.

●      There are allegations of parental alienation or chronic denigration of one parent by the other.

●      Parents are engaged in high-conflict litigation and the child is caught in the middle.

In their earlier work ("Children Held Hostage," 2013), Drs. Stanley Clawar and Brynne Rivlin describe how, in some high-conflict cases, children can become entangled in adult loyalty conflicts and persistent denigration of one parent. They emphasize that chronic indoctrination, denigration, and loyalty pressures can shape a child's perceptions and lead to escalating rejection of a parent, often without the child recognizing the influence. Clawar and Rivlin also note that not all reunification cases begin with alienation, but alienated behaviors can develop over time amid ongoing parental conflict.

How Courts Distinguish Parental Alienation from Estrangement

Dr. Amy J. L. Baker, a leading researcher on parental alienation, developed a widely used four factor evidentiary model to help clinicians, evaluators, and courts determine whether parental alienation, as opposed to estrangement or justified rejection, is present.

Factor 1: Prior Positive Relationship

●      The child previously had a healthy, warm, and positive bond with the now rejected parent.

●      There is evidence that the relationship was functional and affectionate before the onset of rejection.

●      This guards against mislabeling cases where a child never bonded with the parent because of early absence or neglect.

Alienation cannot occur unless there was something to alienate.

Factor 2: Absence of Abuse or Neglect

●      There is no credible evidence that the rejected parent engaged in abuse, neglect, domestic violence, or severe parenting deficits that would justify the child’s rejection.

●      This includes no substantiated physical, sexual, or emotional abuse, no pattern of dangerous or harmful parenting, and no forensic evidence supporting the child’s claims.

●      This factor helps courts distinguish alienation from estrangement, where rejection is based on legitimate harm.

Factor 3: Behavioral Manifestations of the Child (The “Eight Symptoms”)

The child exhibits the specific cluster of behavioral and attitudinal features validated in the parental alienation literature (Baker, Warshak, Gardner, Clawar and Rivlin, and others). These symptoms are often referred to as the “eight symptoms” of alienation:

1. A campaign of denigration.

2. Frivolous, weak, or absurd rationalizations for the rejection.

3. Lack of ambivalence, with an all good or all bad view of each parent.

4. Reflexive support for the alienating parent.

5. Absence of guilt or remorse regarding cruel treatment of the alienated parent.

6. “Borrowed scenarios” in which the child uses adult-sounding language or details.

7. An “independent thinker” stance insisting no one influenced them.

8. A broad generalization of rejection to the extended family, friends, and even pets of the targeted parent.

Together, these symptoms create a clinical profile that is highly specific to alienation dynamics.

Factor 4: Evidence of Alienating Behaviors by the Favored Parent

The preferred or aligned parent engages in specific, documentable strategies, including but not limited to:

Psychological and emotional manipulation

●      Badmouthing or denigrating the other parent.

●      Encouraging the child to distrust or fear the parent.

●      Encouraging secrecy and coalition building.

Interference and obstruction

●      Blocking communication or sabotaging visits.

●      Rescuing the child from the other parent.

●      Oversharing adult information about litigation or finances.

Undermining authority and attachment

●      Encouraging defiance.

●      Withdrawing affection when the child shows connection to the rejected parent.

●      Rewarding hostility.

Distorted narratives

●      Promoting frightening or exaggerated accounts about the other parent.

●      Implanting adult-level knowledge, such as “He abused me” or “She is unstable,” without substantiated evidence.

For parental alienation to be supported, all four of Baker’s factors must be met. Her model is one of the most widely used frameworks in family court, forensic evaluations, guardian ad litem assessments, and reunification therapy.

What the Research Tells Us About Parental Alienation

●      Parental alienation is primarily identified through the child’s observable behaviors because the aligned parent’s conduct is often subtle, indirect, and easily denied.

●      Alienating behaviors typically occur in small, repeated, insidious acts, often described as a thousand small cuts rather than a single incident.

●      Many researchers and clinicians describe unjustified parental alienation as a form of child psychological maltreatment that can have significant short- and long-term consequences for children and parents.

●      The effects on children can be severe and last into adulthood, and the effects on alienated parents are often devastating.

●      Research suggests that alienating behaviors can be carried out by mothers or fathers, and that cases may involve a range of family structures and dynamics.

The Reunification Therapy Process

While every case is unique, reunification therapy with a forensic-minded clinician such as Dr. Charles W. Washam typically moves through a structured sequence of steps.

Step 1: Referral, Court Orders, and Case Screening

●      The process usually begins with a court order, mediated agreement, or attorney referral that defines who will participate, the frequency of sessions, and the therapist’s reporting responsibilities.

●      The therapist reviews court orders, prior evaluations, and any safety findings, such as child protective services investigations, to determine whether reunification is clinically appropriate at this time.

●      Baker’s and Warshak’s work underscores the crucial first step of differentiating true estrangement, where the child’s rejection is grounded in substantiated abuse or serious mistreatment, from unjustified alienation, where the child’s rejection is out of proportion to any actual flaws in the rejected parent.

Step 2: Multi-System Assessment

●      The reunification therapist meets individually with each parent to understand their perspective, history, and goals.

●      The therapist meets with the child or children to assess their experience, fears, and narrative.

●      With appropriate authorization, the therapist reviews relevant documents from prior providers, evaluators, or schools.

Clawar and Baker emphasize that alienation is a pattern, a network of behaviors, narratives, and loyalties over time, not a single event. A careful assessment helps identify the intensity of the child’s rejection, the presence of indoctrinating or programming behaviors by a parent, the child’s capacity for ambivalence and independent thought, and any genuine safety issues that must be addressed first.

Step 3: Psychoeducation and Ground Rules

●      Drawing on the research of Clawar, Baker, Gardner, and Warshak, the therapist provides age-appropriate education about children’s need for healthy relationships with both parents.

●      The therapist explains the harmful impact of chronic denigration, loyalty conflicts, and role reversal.

●      The therapist clarifies the difference between having complaints about a parent and erasing a parent altogether.

In addition:

●      Clear ground rules are established regarding respectful communication.

●      The therapist prohibits interrogating or coaching the child about what to say.

●      The therapist explains how confidentiality and information sharing with the court or attorneys will be handled.

Step 4: Structured Reunification Sessions

●      The therapist gradually reintroduces and strengthens the relationship between the child and the rejected or underinvolved parent.

●      The therapist facilitates conversations about past hurts, misunderstandings, and distorted beliefs.

●      The child is encouraged to express fear, anger, and grief in a safe, contained way.

●      The therapist supports the parent in responding calmly, empathically, and without counterattacks.

Step 5: Work with the Favored or Residential Parent

Research is clear that reunification efforts often fail if the favored parent remains actively or passively undermining the process.

●      The therapist meets individually with the favored parent to address fears, grievances, and expectations.

●      The therapist clarifies the court’s expectations and the potential consequences of noncompliance.

●      The therapist helps the favored parent support the child’s relationship with the other parent even when adult conflict remains.

Step 6: Coordination, Documentation, and Feedback to the Court

●      Within the limits of the court order, the therapist may submit progress reports.

●      The therapist communicates with attorneys, guardians ad litem, or parenting coordinators as authorized.

●      The therapist offers clinical impressions of obstacles and potential next steps, such as modified parenting time, more intensive intervention, or continued psychoeducation.

What a Reunification Therapist Does in Practice

●      Assesses the nature of the child’s rejection and the family’s history, informed by the research of Clawar, Rivlin, Gardner, Baker, and Warshak.

●      Creates and implements a structured plan for reestablishing a functional parent-child relationship.

●      Facilitates sessions between the child and the estranged parent while pacing contact to maintain safety and emotional regulation.

●      Coaches both parents on language, boundaries, and behaviors that protect the child from further loyalty conflicts.

●      Educates parents and, when appropriate, attorneys and the court about parental alienation dynamics and evidence-based responses.

●      Documents and reports progress, barriers, and concerns in a clear, professional, court-ready manner.

What a Reunification Therapist Does and Does Not Do

Based on best practice guidance and the research literature, a reunification therapist:

Does:

●      Focus on the child’s psychological needs and long-term well-being.

●      Promote safe, reality-based contact with both parents when clinically and legally appropriate.

●      Follow court orders and role definitions carefully.

●      Maintain professional neutrality even while addressing problematic behaviors.

●      Communicate respectfully with all parties and their counsel.

●      Provide opinions and observations within the scope of appointment.

Does not:

●      Act as either parent’s personal advocate or litigator.

●      Make independent custody decisions. That is the court’s role.

●      Conduct a full custody evaluation unless explicitly appointed to do so.

●      Ignore safety concerns, abuse allegations, or credible risks.

●      Promise specific legal outcomes or guarantee that a child will fully reconcile.

This disciplined separation of roles, emphasized in guidance from bar associations and professional organizations that address court-involved families and parental alienation, helps protect both children and the integrity of the legal process. Dr. Washam practices with these professional standards firmly in mind.

Is Reunification Therapy Always Court Ordered

Reunification therapy is often court ordered, especially in high-conflict custody disputes where a child refuses contact with a parent or there are allegations of alienation.

However, it can also be:

●      Voluntarily initiated by parents who recognize the harm of ongoing estrangement.

●      Recommended by a custody evaluator, guardian ad litem, or treating clinician.

●      Included in a mediated parenting plan before litigation escalates.

Whether ordered by a judge or agreed to privately, the core purpose remains the same: to help the child restore a more balanced and secure relationship with both parents, consistent with research showing that unjustified loss of a parent can have long-term psychological consequences.

Why the Choice of Reunification Therapist Matters in Northern Kentucky

Families in Northern Kentucky face the same complex realities seen in the research of Clawar, Rivlin, Baker, and Warshak: escalating custody disputes, children pulled into adult conflicts and pressured to choose sides, and confusing mixtures of genuine parental flaws and exaggerated or manufactured allegations.

These dynamics regularly arise in Kenton County, Boone County, and Campbell County Family Courts, as well as in families living in Crestview Hills, Fort Mitchell, Florence, Covington, Fort Thomas, and neighboring communities in the greater Cincinnati area. In this environment, the choice of reunification therapist matters.

Why Families and Courts Choose Dr. Charles W. Washam

●      Dr. Charles W. Washam is a seasoned psychoanalyst and forensic clinical social worker who practices from an object relations perspective, which is particularly well suited to understanding complex attachment injuries, splitting, and loyalty conflicts in children and parents.

●      He has extensive experience in court-involved family cases, including reunification therapy in high-conflict custody matters, and is familiar with the expectations of judges, guardians ad litem, and family law attorneys in Northern Kentucky.

●      His approach is explicitly informed by the leading research of Stanley Clawar, Brynne Rivlin, Amy Baker, Richard Warshak, Richard Gardner, and related scholars on parental alienation, psychological maltreatment, and intensive reunification interventions.

●      He understands the difference between clinical advocacy for the child’s mental health and the court’s responsibility for legal decisions, and he works within clearly defined roles and orders.

What This Means for Parents

●      A therapist who respects the gravity of the situation and the stakes for your child.

●      Clear and direct communication about expectations, responsibilities, and realistic goals.

●      An opportunity to repair a damaged parent-child relationship in a structured, compassionate, and research-informed way.

What This Means for Attorneys and Guardians ad Litem

●      Collaboration with a clinician who understands the language of parental alienation, estrangement, and psychological maltreatment.

●      Well-reasoned, clinically grounded observations that can assist the court without overstepping the therapist’s role.

●      Timely, professional documentation that reflects both clinical nuance and forensic clarity.

Working with Dr. Washam

Families do not choose to be in high-conflict custody litigation, and children do not choose to lose a parent. Reunification therapy offers a path forward that is demanding, structured, and rooted in the best available research.

Dr. Charles W. Washam serves families in Northern Kentucky who are facing a child’s refusal or resistance to see a parent, allegations or evidence of parental alienation, confusing mixtures of legitimate grievances and exaggerated or coached narratives, and the emotional fallout of ongoing litigation and contested parenting time.

If you are a parent seeking help to restore your relationship with your child, an attorney or guardian ad litem looking for an experienced, court-savvy reunification therapist, or a judge or evaluator in need of a clinician who understands both the research and the realities of Northern Kentucky families, you may contact Dr. Washam to discuss whether reunification therapy is appropriate in your case and what a tailored intervention plan could look like. For inquiries, families and professionals can contact his office by telephone or through the contact information listed on his website.